No Looking Back

It’s Time To Rethink Our Oldest Tradition

Published July 4th, 2020
Written by Matthew Mountford

Planning a Wedding in 2020 and not sure what to do? There is a lot to think about and the truth is that your plans are going to have to change.
However, it’s very important to know all of the variables to make the best decisions possible—and with the current course headed for crisis in 2021—we’ve consulted with the experts and devised our prescription for weddings during COVID-19.

Is there any chance I can still have my big wedding in 2020?

First the bad news: don’t count on it. While social distancing orders are being lifted, there is little reason to expect large events to be permitted any time this year or even early next. However, little reason is not no reason! There are three things that can impact the conditions that might cause restrictions to be further lifted:

Rampant Testing: It’s possible that COVID-19 testing could become so available that large gatherings like weddings could be permitted as long as everybody stops by their local drugs store on their way (or the week of) and gets confirmed negative before attending your wedding.
New Treatment: COVID-19 can have physically devastating long-term effects on people who get it whether they are young or old. You don’t want it! But, treatments are already coming forth that appear to be reducing the fatality rate. If they can reduce the rest of the harmful effects no the body as well, then COVID-19 might slowly become a more “benign” condition that won’t warrant extreme social distancing policies.
Vaccine: Apparently something could be out as early as December, but that’s a far cry and will also take time to produce and administer so a vaccine isn’t too likely to effect anything this year.

When something affects the entire world, there is every reason to expect miracles, or at the very least, the full potential of what humans and science are capable of. However, when it comes to your wedding, the last thing you want is to have your big wedding canceled days before it takes place because another outbreak occurs and social-distancing orders are put back into place.

If you’re engaged and trying to get married, the best thing to do is rethink your strategy and devise a plan that works.

Should I postpone my wedding until 2021 or 2022?

NO. This may surprise you, but we do NOT recommend postponing your wedding until next year or even the year after. The San Francisco Bay Area wedding industry serves over 45k weddings a year with the calendar peaking at 7,200 weddings in August. At least 16k weddings (35% of 2020 weddings) scheduled between March 15th and July 1st will be postponed, and we project that between 24k and 31k weddings scheduled for 2020 will be postponed until 2021 or later.

This is going to cause a FLOOD in 2021 that the industry will not be able to handle. The Bay Area wedding industry goes into surge mode at 6k weddings a month and has a maximum capacity of 7,500 weddings in a month. Even our most conservative estimates project that this capacity will be reached from May-November in 2021 to serve the changing market.

While venues, planners, and photographers normally book up a year or more in advance, you will find that the influx in demand will cause prices to soar and make top-talent almost impossible to hire.

We need to flatten the wedding curve, and to do that we’re going to need to rethink mankind’s oldest tradition.

(Trends represented in this graph are based on percentages. While there may be some variation to different regions based on season and weather, the challenges and shift represented by this graph replicate to every state, country, and continent on earth as all of humanity struggles to deal with COVID-19.)

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What events are permitted right now?

Effective July 13th, Santa Clara County’s Public Health Department is permitting weddings to commence with the following conditions:

Weddings must be out-door only
A maximum of 60 attendees at any event. This includes staff and cannot be expanded even in a larger space.
6-feet social distancing at all times is required. This includes the placement of chairs and tables. Attendees can only break the 6-feet of social distancing if they live in the same household, so you cannot put people from different households at the same table. There won’t be any dancing either…
Everyone needs to wear masks at all times (unless they are eating/drinking) and needs to be able to regularly wash their hands.
Attendees must be healthy (not currently sick) and should not attend if they are at high risk for serious illness because of pre-existing conditions

What’s the new trend for 2020 Weddings?

Having your wedding in 2020 is going to be all about changing the resources for your wedding away from planning a large-scale and heavily attended event towards having a smaller ceremony that spares NOTHING on presentation! This is because instead of having a crowd attend your ceremony, you’re going to bring the ceremony to them via pictures and video. Put all of your resources into planning a beautiful, romantic, and symbolic ceremony that you can have photographed and filmed.

We’ll explain what you’re going to do with that footage at the end of this article, but first here is what to do with your budget:

What should I do with my Venue budget?

Slash it. The cost of a venue for your wedding day often makes up 50% or more of your total budget. Most of this cost is because of the resources needed to house your guests. But without a large attendance, this gives you a massive line item on your budget that you can slash and devout to other resources that are now more important.

You still need a location, and outdoor is the way to go. Vineyards, for example, have always been a favorite for weddings, but in 2020 they not only give you the picture-perfect background that you need but are also friendly for any social distancing policies that will be in place.

Shift your venue priorities away from attendance capacity and towards scenery and aesthetic.

Now is the time to haggle. Wedding venue prices are based on demand and the expectation that weddings at luxury locations will be heavily attended. The trend of large-scale weddings being postponed will cause a vacuum at the top of the market that you can take advantage of. Contact locations that were previously out of your budget to see if they have openings and you might find that what would have been a $15-30k+ expense might now be $3-6k.

Weekdays are your friend! With a smaller party consisting of just your closest friends and family, take advantage of weekdays! Everyone can likely take the day off for you, and all of the professional services you need will likely be not only available, but VERY cheap.

Get a cancellation clause. Make sure that whatever contracts you sign, with your venue or with any of your event contractors, that you have a clause guaranteeing a full refund in the event that your wedding has to be completely cancelled due to a coronavirus outbreak and new social-distancing orders.

Insurance policies are no longer offering coverage for COVID-19 cancellations because it is a “known” risk. You can read more information on insurance options HERE.

What should I do with my Catering budget?

Slash it. You’re not going to need a catering budget for 50-500 people. Instead, having a higher quality meal for the 15-50 people closest to you who still might be attending your wedding is the way to go. Or, save this budget for smaller “viewing” parties described later in this article.

Do I need a Wedding Planner?

YES. Although you won’t be planning an event with catering and tables in a ballroom, you’re going to want to hire a wedding planner to execute your ceremony and manage all of the vendors in a way that creates the most creative and beautiful presentation possible. The last thing that you need is to be stressed about managing your wedding, and the truth is that a talented wedding planner is going to have professional creative skills and experience that a volunteer family member or friend won’t have.

Plus, without the tables and catering, dance floor, and band, your wedding is going to be much simpler so you can probably get a better deal.

But don’t just create a beautiful ceremony, create a theme with a message and symbolism that will transcend to your film and photographs in an artistic and cohesive way.

What should I do with my Floral budget?

Pump. It. Up. Not only do you need a florist, you should consider seriously multiplying your floral budget. With your ceremony being all about the presentation for pictures and video, flowers are the perfect way to create a truly majestic ceremony that makes everyone wish that they were there. Your ceremony is now a film production, and the setting and arrangements are going to be what grabs the hearts of your family and friends when they see the film and pictures.

What should I do with my Photography and Video budget?

Double. It. Up. The digital presentation of your ceremony is going to become what your 2020 wedding is all about! Hiring a video company to live-stream your ceremony is a great way to invite all of your friends and family to watch your ceremony and, in a way, be there with you. However, internet access and data speeds at your location could be a serious problem, and you don’t get a lot of creative control on the quality of a live stream. Is it just one camera pointed at the two of you saying your vows? That might be a nice addition if kept simple, but consider the following priorities too:

Make a Cinematic Film: Don’t just hire a videography company that can “capture the day.” Hire a team that can work with you and your wedding planner to produce a creative cinematic film showing your vows and ceremony. A good videographer will know how to overlay beautiful shots of your flowers, details of your dress and suit, and the scene of your wedding with your vows being recited and with music. You want something not too long, but that is highly emotional and moving!

Create an editorial photo-shoot: Your photographers, too, should be more than just journalists with a creative style. Photographers typically capture the ceremony, rush through group pictures as the light fades, and then stay to take photographs of the reception and everybody dancing (which ends up being 60% of their services!). Instead, work with your photographers to plan a styled photo shoot that follows the theme of your wedding and the messages in your vows. Consider having them do a beautiful custom designed coffee table photo album too if your budget permits it.

What should I do with my Gown and Wedding Suit budgets?

Pump it up, and go full custom! Now is the time to get the dress of your dreams! Think about what the theme of your wedding is. How is it going to be represented symbolically? With a custom gown and wedding suit, you not only get a perfectly fitted garment but you can introduce signature elements that can be picked up by the photographs and film.

La Donna Bridal Atelier on Santana Row, for example, is a full-custom wedding gown boutique that allows you to design your own wedding dress and have it made-to-measure in as little as a month! You can select specific types of lace and designs or have something designed to your specification and request. With over 40 samples in stock to try on, they are also offering private closed-door appointments during COVID-19.

Franco Uomo on Santana Row is of course the go-to custom wedding suit boutique in San Jose and Silicon Valley. Our made-to-measure suits are unparalleled in quality and fit in a way that will truly show in your pictures and video. We not only offer custom bow-ties and neckties, but our suits can be lined with a custom-lining using a print from your own photographs! Plus, we also offer private closed-door appointments during COVID-19.

How can I still share my wedding day with my friends and family?

So often, weddings are framed and focused around being the “dream day” for the bride as if that’s the only thing that they’re for. But weddings aren’t just for the bride, they’re for the FAMILY. They’re for your loved ones who want to welcome a new person into their family and celebrate with you. Don’t believe me? Just try telling your family that you’re not having any of them at your wedding and see how that goes…

You can have the most beautiful and romantic wedding possible, but it’s when you get to share that moment with everyone you love that it gets amplified and relived over and over through shared memories.

Not having all of your family and friends with you at your wedding ceremony might seem like a deal-breaker, but consider the following options to turn your lemons into lemonade:

Live-Stream: Schedule your wedding and send out digital invites notifying people of the time and date, then send a reminder email with a link to the live stream. Budget and space constraints at a normal wedding always force couples to make cuts on who they can invite, but by live-streaming your wedding on facebook or other platforms you can invite EVERYONE to join your special day and comment as they watch too. This way, when you rewatch the live-stream video, you can see everyone’s messages to you in real-time!

Watch-Parties: Once you have your “cinematic” film of your wedding day ready, host small “watch party” receptions at your home where your family can view the video with you in a more intimate setting. By hosting smaller parties you can have the chance to actually spend time with your friends and family and introduce your loved one if they haven’t already met. Consider doing catering, but chances are if you organize your groups properly you can get your family to pull together a perfect potluck at no cost to you.

Social Sharing: And of course, don’t forget good old-fashioned social media sharing of your video and pictures. Consider holding off posting your media until after your watch parties if you’re going to have them so that you don’t lose the experience with your family. But once those are done, post your “editorial” wedding pictures and video on social media for all of your friends to see and share with you!

When most people hear this, they might think of “expectation” as a scale from high to low, just as you might have read this blog and thought, “I have to reduce my expectations for my wedding.”

But readjusting your expectations means changing the story of your dream wedding to focus on what’s most important: the exaltation of love and human connection. Now more than ever is the time to find ways of coming together and sharing each other’s experiences.

Generations before us have been marked by plagues or challenged by wars. This may very well define our generation and our time as what we must overcome.

So my message to you, and the point of all of this, is to become the narrator of your own story. Write the saga that you will tell your children and that they will tell theirs. Make it bursting with meaning. Make it vibrant with symbolism and color.

Make it yours.

And make it history.